Monday, December 1, 2008


The blog is back. Maybe it's because I need to get some things off my chest. Or maybe it's because I am not a quitter. Or maybe it's just something that only happens in the winter when there is nothing else to do (see last post in JUNE).

At any rate, the witty repartee is back. Stay tuned...

Monday, June 30, 2008

Happy Pride!

So, my parents were in town this weekend - looking for some entertainment, we took them to the Pride parade in Mpls yesterday morning. What a good time! I learned a lot of things - 1) Most stickers in the world are printed for political campaigns, 2) Al Franken is a short man, 3) You can make almost anything out of a pair of high heels, leather straps and tulle, 4) Cameras seem to stop working at the most inopportune times (like when a white terrier painted like a rainbow flag walks by).

However, the thing that struck me the most was how involved the gay community seems to be. There were groups of every description - gay Jews, gay Athiests, gay Catholics (funnily placed right behind the athiests...), a gay hockey team, the Mpls Gay Men's Chorus, the Pride Band, riders from the gay rodeo, lesbian bikers, the list goes on and on. And not only were there lots of gay activists, but lots of people who support the GLBT community - PFLAG, Rainbow Families, Politicians (hopefully genuine), Chipotle (my new favorite restaurant doing good in their local community), myriad corporate clubs promoting diversity (3M was NOT among them). It struck me how proud gays are not only to be out, but to be out doing good in the community, not just for themselves, but for others, too. That a group of people can be proud of a community, which does not necessarily return them the favor, is very humbling indeed.

So, Happy Pride to one and all!

PS - on a separate note, I hate my job.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Lovely Day

Spring has finally arrived in Minneapolis/St. Paul (it's only a month late...) - yesterday we officially hit 70 degrees, and it was gorgeous. Made my search for a new apt, with a patio so I can BBQ, even more relevant. Spent the afternoon looking at places, then went over to a friend's house for some burgers and stayed late around the fire pit as the stars came out, sipping watermelon screwdrivers. What a perfect end to a lovely day :)

Thursday, April 17, 2008


The last place one would expect to step in a big pile of shit is in a bathroom. Am I wrong? Seriously - you'd expect to step in shit out on the street somewhere, but not indoors, on a pristine bathroom floor.

Well, things can't get any stranger, because this morning, I stepped in a big pile of shit - IN THE LADIES' ROOM AT WORK! Are you fucking kidding me?! I was talking to someone when I went in the stall and didn't even notice until I had stepped smack in the middle of it. Things haven't been swell at work the last few weeks, so this is either a metaphor come to life, or a sign from above. Oh, the irony...

I cannot believe that someone would make a mess on the floor, and not attempt to clean it up. I surely hope it was an accident - I can understand if we were in the bathroom at a bus station, or on Bourbon St in New Orleans (yes, human feces on the ground here, too), but in the bathroom of a fortune 500 company?! I never knew women could be so un-hygenic.

No way am I going to become a lesbian now!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Duck, duck... grey duck?

It's funny how often you learn something new. I learned quite a few new things this week.

1. I learned that I can sing Aretha Franklin at the end of a long night of Karaoke and (almost) pull it off. Set stretch goals, and go out and get them (some beer and a supportive group of friends doesn't hurt, either).

2. Work. On the upside, this week I learned that loyalty and trust are two of the most important qualities I value in people. On the downside, I learned that upper management at 3M do not possess either of these qualities.

3. By far, the most interesting thing I learned was that in St. Paul, kids don't play duck, duck, goose - they play duck, duck, grey duck. WTF? Minnesotan humor, apparently. You can mess with people this way - "duck, duck, duck, green duck... Gotcha! I said green duck, not grey duck." Kids playing games of semantics? Kind of messed up, if you ask me.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Ex-Boyfriends and Resolutions

So, I am once again single. Got me thinking about the good and the bad of recent relationships, and some of the things that have rubbed off on me along the way. From Matt in '07 I picked up drinking organic milk. Tastes sooo much better, I highly recommend it if you have not had the chance. From Adam in '06, I got my cool dining room art installation (ok, really just a bunch of picture frames strategically hung, but I like it). And from my most recent Ex, Scott, I picked up the combination of wine over $10 (come on, we're not in college anymore) and really good dark chocolate. Food is a very personal thing for me, so I guess I choose to remember the good times by the foods my exes leave behind :)

...which leads to my resolutions for spring 2008:
1) Keep up the gym (see last resolutions post).
2) Continue having a life and leaving work at a reasonable hour (ditto).
3) Be single. Be celibate. Now, I know this one is likely to cause a stir, the least of which is because I have kept many friends entertained over the years with my dating escapades. It's time for a little break, for me to get back to understanding what I want out of life, and of relationships in general. And I can't do that if I date every Tom, Dick and Harry (or in MN - Lars, Sven and Erik) that comes along. So, if I'm not going to be dating, then I'm not going to be sleeping with people, either. It's time for a karmic cleansing - no boys allowed!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Romeo and Juliet for the Next Generation

Last night I went to a YPG cocktail party featuring the opera being performed this month, Romeo and Juliet. Met a couple of nice new people to hang out with, got to drink wine and enjoy the eye candy (the guy playing Romeo was there, and he is freaking hot! Good job, casting director...).

One of the more interesting things we did was play a party game (hear the excitement in my voice) where we explored how the story of R&J has lasted throughout the ages, and made it into contemporary songs, film, etc. I especially liked when the 60-year old woman leading the game attempted to read some lyrics from a Lil' Bow Wow song... We were charged to write our own version of the famous balcony scene, showing it in a new light. A lot of people modernized it, making Romeo a cat burglar and Juliet wondering how he got past all her security. Another group put R&J in a nursing home to show 'old love' (there was lots of diaper-changing going on, I was a little grossed out). My partner Zach and I decided to use that iconic series of Apple commercials as our inspiration. And here it is (DISCLAIMER: written in 5 minutes. Lots of wine involved.):

A: Hi, I'm a MAC.
Z: Hi, I'm a PC.
Wow... you're so sleek and creative.
A: I'm sorry - I can't understand you. We run on different operating systems.
Z: With your electromagnetic field, I am drawn to you.
A: If IT sees you they will make you obsolete!
Z: I'd rather be traded in for a new model than leave the desk we share.
A: But if you're not hooked up to the network, they'll never find you!
Z: I would give up anything, even the network, to share files with you...
A: Oh no - I'm going into sleep mode! Talk to you later.
Z: Wait, don't go! My data exchange is imminent!
A: Oh - I'll turn on my telemetry, now that we both run on windows...
Z: Oh, MAC
A: Oh, PC!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008


Happy 2008 to you all! I like this time of year because it gives one pause to reflect and think about the personal improvements they would like to achieve. Resolving to be a better person - that's pretty cool if you stop to think about it. Jan 1 should be the most optimistic day of the year! For a while now, I have set what I call 'seasonal resolutions', which give you the opportunity to work on something for 3 months, and then reassess the situation. This system has a much higher rate of return than typical NYE resolutions - 1 year is just too long! I think the other key to keeping resolutions is making sure they have measurable outcomes. You can't just say you want to do something more, you need to quantify it.

That being said, here are my winter resolutions for 2008:
1. Go to the gym a minimum of 3 days a week. (Anyone who knows me well knows how much I loathe the gym, although I have belonged to the YWCA across from my house for the last 1 1/2 years. I joined and then didn't set foot inside for 11 months. I considered my monthly membership fee a donation to charity!)
2. Experience culinary tourism one weekday and one weekend day each week. (One of my passions in life is food, and I made a rule when I moved to MN that I couldn't repeat a restaurant within 3 months, so I would force myself to get out and try new things. I still have that rule, but I have fallen off the exploring wagon of late, and need to get back on or I'll go crazy!)
3. Twice a week I will leave work at 5:00 and NOT bring my computer home. (Hello, my name is Adrienne and I am a workaholic. Some days I wish I was married simply for the fact that married people at work seem to only work 8-5 - how is it that us singletons get stuck there until the wee hours? In the last 3 months there hasn't been a single day or weekend that I haven't brought my laptop home, which is after already being the last person in the office. I need to regain control of my personal life. We'll see how I do - of the 3, this will be the most challenging for me.)

Something that I think makes resolutions successful is not having too many (3 is plenty), and making sure that you have one that you will almost certainly be able to achieve, and one that will be more of a stretch goal. Resolutions should make you feel good about yourself, but at the same time, help you grow as a person.

You may have noticed that my winter resolutions are a bit selfish - damn right. I learned a very important lesson in 7th grade homeroom that you can't take care of the people you care about unless you take care of yourself first (It's just like the oxygen masks on airplanes - put yours on before helping children and senior citizens). Needless to say, I have been neglecting myself lately, and that has to stop before I can be effective in helping for the greater good. But just so you don't think I'm a total asshole, here are some of the other resolutions that I want to work on at some point in the near future. I just can't figure out how to quantify them...
- Become a mentor
- Volunteer
- Be more green, beyond just recycling
- Be energy conscious
- Eat at restaurants/buy foods that are more organic, sustainable, seasonal and that support local producers
- Be more transparent in my personal relationships
- Keep in touch with loved ones more
- Learn to logroll (I assure you, this is not for me - this is for you, as I will have hilarious stories from this one...)

So, there is what to expect of my life in the near future. As for the past, 2007 was a pretty memorable year. I went to my first NASCAR race. I was an on-air personality on Martha Stewart's satellite radio channel. I watched an Italian opera outdoors in a 2,000 year-old Roman amphitheater. I ate my share of things on a stick at the state fair. I karaoke-d Sweet Child of Mine for the first time, and brought down the house. I discovered why you want to finish dental work before you fly, and that airlines carry controlled substances on transatlantic flights. I developed food allergies and migraines, but am slowly figuring out how to manage both. I am learning how to be less judgemental and expand my comfort zone. I have been to numerous weddings and seen the birth of babies, and am in constant awe of the lives my friends lead. My parents are in good health, and my sister has just moved to Minneapolis, which means I will see all of them more often. I am a very lucky person.

I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous new year. Do something amazing with it.